Sexual Abuse, Suicide and Loosing a Child

First I would like to give thanks to God for keeping me here, and I believe he kept me in preparation to give testimonies to save lives.

I was ten years old when a relative stepped in as my legal guardian, because I never had my father in my life.  He the breadwinner, my Reverend and my Principal, and I was his student. 

My determination to beat poverty was to be educated.  I wanted to become a medical doctor, but unfortunately, this relative robbed me off my dreams.

He sexually molested me from age eleven through fourteen, and each time I attempted to speak up, he threatened to have me expelled from his school.

But then at age fourteen, I took the bold step to say NO MORE. Saying NO MORE meant NO MORE EDUCATION.  He got me expelled me from school and I was returned to my mother in the village.  There was NO MORE LIFE for me. Confused and traumatized, I made the wrong decision, I got pregnant. I went through my pregnancy and had my baby girl, but unfortunately, I lost her when she was fifteen months old.

But I picked  myself up, went back to school and graduated from high school. Things became harder for me.  I couldn't get to college because of poverty, then I fell backwards again and got pregnant.

My mother couldn't understand, and was very disappointed in me and decided to throw me outside. I ran to my friend, then my mother out of extreme anger stripped me butt naked in public.  That was my lowest point.

I attempted suicide by swallowing a couple Valiums, hoping to sleep forever.  By His miracle, my unborn child and I survived. I had a healthy baby boy, but then, another tragedy struck.  My boy died right before my eyes at age seven months.  That was it, part of me vanished.  

To this day, I cannot even remember my two children's birthdays, or their death dates.

My whole life shut down, until few years ago.  It wasn't until my relative passed away, that I decided to visit my past.  I remembered my childhood and what I loved to do before age eleven... I realized I loved music and dancing. By His grace, I spoke up on social media, and started dancing publicly. 

If you are reading this story, or thinking of ending your life because of abuse or for loosing a loved one, please go to my pages VOICES OF INNOCENT CHILDREN EMPOWERMENT, or V.O.I.C.E OF AFRICA CULTURAL DANCER and ask yourself if I'm better than you.

If you or someone you know had, or is thinking about ending it all and you live around Philadelphia, please join me so we can meet and talk, because I'm thinking about creating a Support group, wherein we can meet and speak to others, in order to save lives. 
Thank you for reading.- Musu Kamara (Philadelphia, PA)